Just the other day I read a piece of news in one of the dailies that a young teenager was accused of murder. He had shot his teacher dead because he thought that he was responsible for ruining his life. The boy had been caught smoking and bunking class by his teacher and as a responsible elder the teacher thought of informing the boy’s parents about it. When the parents came to know about this, the father in a fit of rage scolded the child and asked him to leave the house for good.
A fifteen year old boy who came from a good family and who was used to a luxurious lifestyle was on his own in this harsh world where he had to fend for himself by doing odd jobs and also had to leave his studies. For four years he tried to struggle and also tried to reconcile with his father many times but his father just did not pay any heed.
The boy’s life had taken an ugly turn just because he was caught smoking and his father thought that he was fit for the most harsh punishment ever.
I know this blog is about how to quit smoking but we have to understand the fact that smoking is a bad habit not a crime. This habit harms the person who smokes and the person needs help to overcome this habit. He needs guidance, understanding, support and a lot of empathy to quit this habit especially when the person concerned is a young teenager .
This incident made me think about who is responsible for making this boy going to such extremes.
1. Is it the teacher who gave information about the child to his parent?
2. Is the parent who instead of helping and understanding the child disowned him completely?
3. Is it the boy himself who by the age of 15 should know about the dos and don’ts of life? Or,
4. Is it the society which does not accept such children who have a social stigma attached to their name or reputation?
In my opinion the teacher did his job and informed the parent, the boy at the age of 15 is quite probable to be confused in life and may be just giving in to peer pressure or maybe wanting to try the forbidden and prove his guts to his friends. This itself proves that he was not mature enough and needed guidance and understanding. I think it is solely the parent who conveniently disowned the child and got rid of his duty and responsibility.
Every parent wants that their child should excel in studies, do well in sports, be well mannered and not have any habits which are unacceptable by society. But, we don’t live in Utopia, our real world offers many temptations to our growing children and as parents we have to stand by and help them to differentiate between the right and wrong so that they can take correct decisions in life. When a parent asks the child to leave home until he is an adult he is getting rid of his responsibility.
It is said that , ‘ it takes a village to raise a child’ but now we live in a global village, in this world of Google and YouTube our children are exposed to too much information at a very early age and they need more guidance, love , care , a watchful eye and a patient ear to listen to what is going on in their minds.
As a parent our first role is to support and protect the child. If he has been caught smoking then it is not the end of the world he is not a criminal but just trying out something due to curiosity or peer pressure and such situations have to be handled with patience and understanding.
At a tender teenaged age the children need to be understood and heard. Punishment at times makes them more rigid and harm them rather than heal them. As parents we need to give them unconditional love and understanding because winning an argument with a teenager is actually losing it.
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